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The Night Before Christmas 2014 - parody

’Tis the week before Christmas and on my keyboard I’m pounding,
To compose a festive parody that’s not trite sounding.
Everything is stirring, particularly my computer mouse,
Need to type faster, so I can go home to my house.

But as I sit at my desk looking squarely at my screen,
The lights are flashing, but not red, white and green.
This lack of colour does not dampen my spirits,
However, writing my seventh parody may test my limits.  

So here we go again, let’s see what’s in my head,
After stretching my cranium, I’ll shortly be snug in bed.
But for now the question is where to begin?,
“I’ve got the answer”, he says with a grin. 

During the past year the home loan market did clatter,
Rising above the din, property prices were the chatter.
Auctions clearance rates were high, reflecting pent-up demand,
It was good news for sellers, top prices they did command.  

Across the nation, Australians watched their wealth rise,
Property ownership delivered us an envious prize.
The average Aussie is now worth more than citizens elsewhere,
We are the richest people in the world, with many a millionaire. 

As a prosperous and generous people, we hosted the G20,
We were convivial hosts, with koala cuddling aplenty.
It was the largest gathering of world leaders to our nation,
As each stood at the lectern, we heard some great oration.  

Now Barack! now Vladimir! now Shinzo and Angela,
You’ve got big jobs and we admire your stamina.
But words alone won’t solve a single problem,
Concerted action is needed from Haiti to Harlem. 

Here in Australia we have every reason to rejoice,
Our economy is growing and we have freedom of choice.
In a world of uncertainty, we live in a great place,
With safety and security and wide open space. 

Sure we’re not perfect and our dollar is too strong,
But unemployment is low, we should break into song.
Productivity remains an issue, we need more out of less,
“We know we can do better”, the workers confess.  

At this time of year it’s appropriate to pause,
For the gifts we have, not including those from Santa Claus.
Our true wealth is not made up of material chattels,
It’s who we are and overcoming our personal battles. 

For now our thoughts turn to family and friends,
‘Tis the season of goodwill, it’s sad when it ends.
Yuletide celebrations bring out the best in us all,
Singing and laughing as we deck the hall.  

As I sign off for Christmas I thank each and every member,
It’s been a pleasure to serve you, right through to December.
May the joy of the season fill your home on Christmas Day,
As we smile and gently whisper “Merry Christmas” from Gateway.

FOOTNOTE: This is my final post for the year. I hope I’ve kept you informed and entertained during 2014. I’m taking a short break from my blogging duties and will be back on-line on Tuesday, 27 January 2015. (NB: Monday 26 is a public holiday for Australia Day). Have a great New Year. 

Paul J. Thomas


Posted Friday, December 19, 2014    View Comments 0 Comments    Make a Comment Make a comment  

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